Blogservations by Drew Vics

This is an older piece I wrote while pondering wisdom. It’s had a little popularity around the internet so I thought I would share it again up front on the blog…

Wisdom eludes me. The more I learn, the less I think I know. Maybe it’s because when I learn something new I realize how much more there is to know. And by that I mean, how much we can know, not how much we must know. It’s perpetual. I strive to learn more, but sometimes I feel I
don’t know enough.

Wait a minute, wisdom isn’t just knowledge! It isn’t how many books you’ve read or how many degrees you have. Wisdom can’t be learned just by reading, it must be gained as well. Wisdom collects, and is gained from experience and consideration. No matter how much you try,
you won’t become wise just learning stuff.

Wisdom is found in the application of knowledge, the awareness that comes from the analysis of our world and life, through learning and experiencing.

Think deeper. When you toss a stone into a pond you’re immediately aware of the ripples and the splash, but it doesn’t stop there. Even though your mind forgets the stone because it’s gone from sight, the stone continues its journey to the bottom of the pond. We can think
about the stuff we can’t see.

When we’re seeking knowledge we shouldn’t skim the surface and ignore the lessons within the lessons. The deeper considerations are where wisdom hides. Things we learn on one subject may intersect with points of another subject, we need to examine those connections. Even
if the connections are not obvious at first, once made, the proverbial light bulb goes on and we’re one step closer.

Gain: Increasing the level by increasing the amplitude.

Depth. More than a little. Wisdom is gained. It’s about what lies beyond the zero point in a wavelength. It’s looking toward the outside, while looking in.

Sadly, only one month after resigning as President of Apple Computer, Steve Jobs has passed away. He was 56.

I’m 44 years old now, and I still remember my first computer, an Apple ][+. My father bought me that computer when I was about 14 years old. We subscribed to a little magazine called CALL -A.P.P.L.E. which was loaded with BASIC program code, and I would write programs on that computer day and night, when I wasn't in school, or playing my guitar.

When Apple introduced the Macintosh, a little app called HyperCard became popular, and I began building "stacks" as they were called, making my own little mini applications and games. I also spent a lot of time using MacPaint.

I didn't get it at the time, but later would come to respect and admire the man behind Apple, and I would start to make connections between what I do now, and what I spent so much time doing as a teen. I still work and play on my computer, a MacBook Pro, as a graphic artist, web site developer, and musician.

Steve said, "...you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future."

When I look back I see that is true. Thanks to HyperCard the web site concept was easy for me to grasp. MacPaint of course led to PhotoShop, one of my other design tools, and Apple's Logic Studio allows me to use my Apple computer to record my music, my guitar, and design with sound. I have literally grown up with Apple, and can connect those dots.

Steve Jobs was a mysterious figure to me. In those early days my father would speak of him with a sort of reverence and awe, as if Steve were some amazing, forward-thinking visionary. As a teen I didn't so much wonder what it was all about as much as I just got the vibe, and understood what was known: Here is a man with some amazing ideas that will change everything.

Steve did change everything. Apple changed everything. Steve Jobs and Apple rearranged the playing field and continuously took us to new places with technology. They have enabled us with intuitively designed machines that have made, and make, our lives easier. Steve also inspired, and provided creative people around the world with tools that seem to directly connect to the artist within. They have opened doors for creative people worldwide.

I found this quote of his very inspiring. And it brings tears to my eyes.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life,” Jobs said. “Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

His computers allow me to express myself as an artist. And his words inspire me to continue following my heart and intuition. I'm an artist and a musician. I need to keep doing these things and let the dots connect ahead of me.

Thank you Steve, for everything you've done. You will be missed.

A short note: After emailing my father a link to this post he replied with an interesting story, one I never knew...

"Don't know if I ever told you but I met Jobs and Wozniak at the Philadelphia Computer Show in 1977. They had a small table in a corner showing off the Apple I. [a couple of my friends] and I chatted with them for a while. They introduced the Apple I in Atlantic City in 1976.”

We don’t like to conform, but we’re going to get hitched anyway. And in true nonconformist form, my girlfriend, Cindy, told me she didn’t want a diamond ring for our engagement. I had to think of something else. But what? I found just the right thing, it wasn’t a ring, and it had been staring me in the face the whole time. Ribbit.

I thought it was a novel idea. (novel: “of a new kind; different from anything seen or known before”) so I went with it. It certainly wasn’t the traditional approach (tradition: “a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting.”) But then, aside from Christmas and Halloween, I’ve never been much for tradition anyway. I’ll get to the novel idea in a minute…

What’s this about a frog? It goes like this:

One day, my girlfriend, Cindy, and I were unpacking some things during our move into a new house. Each of our lives had been upturned for a time, and starting a new life together was refreshing, although challenging.

That day she found a rubber tree frog in a box of stuff she had forgotten about. A blueish colored frog, cute. It was a gift from a friend of hers, given during a time when Cindy was starting to believe that she would be alone for the rest of her life. The note attached to the frog read something to the effect of “don’t worry, you’ll find your prince.”

Cindy laughed when she found it, and told me the whole story with a huge smile on her face. I liked the sentiment, and the frog. It was a reminder to Cindy that something will happen, and things will be okay. And at that moment the frog took on a meaning for me as well. It became something that represented a bond between us. It became special.

I took the frog and informed her that we’d be keeping it because it had meaning for us. I don’t consider myself a prince by any stretch of the imagination, but neither of us were alone anymore, and the frog was a symbol of that. It was staying.

The frog became a little game, and began appearing in the most unexpected places. One morning I opened the medicine cabinet to grab my toothbrush and there it sat staring at me. So I cleverly stowed it someplace where I knew Cindy would stumble upon it. Later that week it would be waiting for me again somewhere else, and the game went on, and continues to this day.

So, what’s this novel idea I had?

After about three years of dating Cindy and I began to discuss plans for marriage. We were apprehensive, especially since we’d both been burned by previous relationships. We also don’t feel that marriage is a necessity, it’s just something people are expected to do. It seems that long term, committed relationships are not taken seriously unless the couple is wed.

In any case, we decided that we would like to get married — in the legal sense, not the religious sense — as a way to officially establish our bond of love. There is also this ridiculous feeling that getting married might somehow cheapen or jinx the true love we do feel for each other. Sort of like, “we’re happy now, why get married and ruin it?” It’s a good thing we’re not superstitious.

Now for the details, and the novel idea. If we we’re to get married, we need to be engaged first. That means we need a ring or something. Well, Cindy didn’t want a ring so I had to think of something else to serve as a symbol of our union. Here comes my novel idea.

I decided to get her a necklace, but, what kind of necklace? Of course… A FROG necklace!

I shopped around for a sterling silver frog pendant and found the perfect one. A little tree frog that looked very similar to our rubber frog mascot. I kept it hidden so Cindy wouldn’t find it, and waited for the right moment to pop the question.

It was actually kind of fun. We had plans to visit my family in North Carolina, so I decided I would ask her during that trip. Initially I was going to ask her on the beach, but decided to wait until the moment was just right.

So one beautiful day in North Carolina, on the dock of a little place called The Provision Company, located in South Port, on the Intracoastal Waterway near the mouth of the Cape Fear River, I asked Cindy to marry me. I opened the box and showed her the necklace. She loved it, and beamed with happiness as I placed the little silver frog around her neck. It was nice, and special, just as I had hoped. And you know something? It felt right. It felt real.

I know that many people will think it’s odd that I bought her a necklace instead of a diamond ring, but I don’t really care. All that matters to me is our happiness together. Isn’t it nice to do things your own way once in awhile, and thwart tradition?

In a previous post I pondered the power of precious moments and memories. It was a not completely succinct or focused piece, but then, my writings rarely are. I tend to drift, but most of the time stay relatively on topic. In that post I talked about being “in the moment” and the saying, “wherever you go, there you are.”

It is a popular phrase, and can prompt philosophical discussion from any number of angles. As a result of writing that post, and thinking of that phrase from time to time since, it morphed into something that has a whole other meaning, and can serve as inspiration to go and do, instead of stay and don’t.

“Wherever you are, there you go.” Though I’m sure others have said it from time to time, or thought of it, a google search revealed no official use of this particular phrase, so I’ll take credit for it

This variation seems more positive than the other. While the first phrase can be a token phrase of self-awareness, and a reminder of just how small each of us is in the grand scheme of things, it seems to be spoken often in a tone that hints at a futile effort. I dunno, maybe I’m getting that wrong, but it just seems to me like many people take it to mean “oh well, what are you gonna do?”

Flipping the phrase to “wherever you are, there you go” seems to open a door to possibilities, not a just reflection on some seemingly mundane existence. Our existence may seem ordinary at times, but self awareness is an amazing feat of evolution unique to few species. Likewise, the need for discovery, self-improvement, and achievement are also traits brought to us through evolution, but apparently they are unique to humans.

Isn’t it better to think “what can I do next?”

Take one step and, wherever you are, there you go.

This year my girlfriend and I decided to do a little tribute to Rob Zombie for Halloween, me donning dreads and makeup for my custom, homemade Rob Zombie costume, and Cindy dressing as my “Living Dead Girl.”

What does it take to be a zombie? Well, if you’re going for the average zombie, you’d just ghoul yourself up and walk around with a dead gaze yowling “Brains!” But if you’re talking Rob Zombie you need something a little different. I decided to tribute the look Rob put on during promotion and touring for his first Hellbilly Deluxe release. I figured long ass narly dreads, a dark, mottled trench coat, some black boots and the proper makeup job, featuring a bloody X between the eyes, would do the trick.

A beard helps, and luckily I have a real one so that would help the costume look a little more authentic.

Here’s the rundown on the costume pieces and prices. Black Brahma work boots: $30, Walmart. Black trench coat (a London Fog complete with warm fur lining): $20, Goodwill. Dreads: $16* Walmart. Makeup: Ben Nye grease makeup, about $15 (it’s the good stuff). Art on back of coat: Priceless!

I thought I would add some original art inspired by the twisted, Rat Fink style monster art and hot naked chicks that adorn some of the Rob Zombie and White Zombie albums. Gotta have the naked chicks. Well, in this case I decided to tame it down and put a bikini on her. In my original sketch she was bikini-less. I also made her a brunette since Cindy has dark hair.

The coat is finished with an all-over sponge paint effect (black, white and some lavender mixed in) to give it a nice irregular, mottled look. That always makes for a creepy appearance.

* Now to explain the dread locks. I bought a “dread lock” wig at Walmart for $8, and unpacked it to discover that it was made up of braids, not dreads, and was also rather thin in the back. Not acceptible at all. I went back to the store and bought another, bringing my wig total to $16. Then I cut off a row of hair from the new wig and sewed it into a blank area, between rows on the back of the original wig, then unravelled all of the braids.

I made a wig stand to work on, and proceeded to twist the dreads. I blended brown, black and white acrylic paint in varying combinations to create a more natural look to the wig hair. I would select segments of hair, some as small as 1/8 inch, all the way up to about 1 inch, pull them out straight from the wig, apply some paint along the whole length, twist the hair and apply more paint as I twisted.

Tighter on the smaller dreads would create a natural twirl to those lengths of hair, looser twists on the thicker ones created a straighter, more natty dread look. I continued this all the way around the wig, alternating low and high, in and out (meaning surface area hair and then pulling some hair from deeper int he wig). Each dread was blown dry with a hair dryer on hot setting, as I held the length of hair out. I had to make sure each length was completely dry before letting it lay back down on the wig. It could get tangled up in the other hair and lose the natural look.

Once that was all done I trimmed about 4 inches off the total length of the wig and shaped it some to give it a more realistic look.

The X on the head was built up with latex and bits of cotton. I was able to remove it the first night and reuse it again for round two, so that was convenient. A little stippling of latex to create a wrinkly, cracking look here and there, a nice coating of grease makeup, with darkened eyes, and that’s how I created the Zombie costume. I think I’ll need to wear this at the next Zombie concert we go to. Should be fun.

For my Living Dead Girl companion (inspired by the Rob Zombie song of the same name, featuring the line “Blood on her skin, dripping with sin, do it again, Living Dead Girl…”) we decided to go with the “blood on her skin” vibe.

Cindy’s costume was a little easier. We picked up a Carrie dress, made to replicate the scene from that Stephen King tale when Carrie is drenched with pig’s blood at the Prom. After unpacking the dress we found that the $30 costume was only painted bloody in the front, so I hung it up and added a healthy dose of blood red paint to the back side of the dress to complete the look. Then we found some cheap canvas shoes at K-Mart and painted a blood bath on them to pull it all together. Some Vampire Blood on her face, neck and arms, and she was the sexiest living dead girl I’d ever seen. This is my kinda gal.

We put our costumes on for a party on Saturday night, then did the whole thing again on Halloween to scare the trick or treaters. Afterwards we took a little stroll into town for dinner, in our gruesome glory. One time each year when we can get our freak on. And it’s funny, you think it would be expected, but man, the looks you get. Some people just don’t get it. Hey, it’s Halloween people! Lighten up. In my opinion the only real freaks are the people who think they are “normal.”

Whatever you do, don’t let anyone stop you from being YOU! Have fun, it’s Halloween after all! Rock on Zombies!